Happy mother's day!!! during that time i'm having a fever....as usuall if i'm sick i'm just keep quiet and do my own things..... so that day begins with no meaning eventhough a day before we brought things at groceries and my daughters intend to prepare a meals for mother's day........... after consume a medicine i feel a bit o.k and my daughter asked me to taste the meals they've prepared for me....my condition makes me tasteless...... i'm very thankful for my children who cooked for me during that day and that night they give me a bouquet of flower and musical cards... i don't know when they bought it and its nice the words is touching....... thanks i also loves you very much.... and mother's love is borderless.................................................................................
After recovered i came back to continue my research work..discussing with others and they said that my illness because of my worrieness towards my research..may be yess...after what i've facing during my defence....i felt really down...... but.....ALLAH gives me strenght to be strong through this tough ways...Yes... i admit that phd is Perjalanan Harungi Dugaan as my cliks CTA said about what is phd ? may be because phd student is normally married, have lots of responsibility and towards the ends of education.....any tiny miny itsy bitsy things will put in consideration and can be a big burden and problems to ....may be.....sometimes we struggle with our own mind thingking about our research and i realize that sometimes i felt like i just thingking about my self not other..like my children sometimes i've to let them be by them self, don't have a time to talk about their problems at school and sometimes i forget to ask them about their homework..because my head is spinning thinking about my phd research..... and for this i thanks my husband and children for understand me....i'ts so touching when my 5 yrs old daughter ask me are u going to work today? (for her i'm working not studying) and sometimes i have to take a break and entertain them... and looks at my daughter grinn when i'm not going to faculty makes me feel soo..touching...Sometimes i just wondered my self am i take a right decision? But it's my dreams and and comes only once.....so that's why i'm here.
Pray to ALLAH is the key words of phd successfullness.....hope that ALLAH will make the esiest way for me to achieve my success.........
1 comment:
Assalamualaukum, Mah, Kak Shimah here.
It has been sometime we didn't meey. Wah dah defence proposal. I'm still attending classes but my groundwork looked like It's going to make asmall fly soon. Topic clear, models clear, now i need to collect data to refine mu terms defination.
As guilty as you are as a student mom, phd is not so to me coz the thought of carrying the title make me nervous. What I want is to prove to myself that I am going to complete a good if possible the best thesis that can contribute to the world of knowledge - teacher educators. I hate for so long that I have produce a so so quality of research without proper guide from expert in the field.
My only daughter and my son, they are adorable. Forever seeking my attention. My daughter never want to go to bed if I'm not in bed with her. Like it or not, I have to put her to bed. Bed time story....until she doze off. My son will also tug in the same bed to listen to my story. Dah habis cerita I masa kecik dengan abah, mak, atok, nenek, paksu, makngah, tok ngah the list went on. Now ulang2 je cerita lama. Habis2 cerita apa itu daun, apa itu lubang telinga lepas tu kait2kan dengan cerita pengalaman masuk tungau dalam telinga. Nak tumpu buat kerja, I prefer my daughter tengok kartun. Tapi berebut station dengan abang pulak. Bila semua dah tidur baru i tenang nak buat kerja. Esok pagi2, abahnye anta pergi sekolah, abah pergi kerja, mak sambung kerja. Kadang tu bila kerja tak siap petang dah menjelang, I bawa diri ke library UPM sampau malan. Makan I dah siapkan sebab balik dari sekolah je si abang dah kelaparan nak makan.
I seronok belajar tapi house chores yang I fedup. Sebut2 nak maid, hubby buat tak dengar je. Ni dah berbulan I tak mop lantai, masuk bilik air nampak kesan tapak kai hitam. I biarkan. Selagi sia boleh pijak ,pijakla.
Esok hantar semua final assignment and take home test. Mula operasi rumah. I ingatkan nak balik Kelantan, sebab balik raya tempoh hari tak puas duduk dengan nenek. Hubby I pulak esok outstation. Aiiiii tek sempat I nak bagi tau dia. So mama ganti jadi supir anak2 ke sekolah la minggu depan.
The following week hubby nak ke kuala sepetang pulak, dia ajak ikut, I ada supervision OUM la pulak. Apa2 pun sebelum fix tarikh untuk my first commitee meeting, I nak balik kelantan jugak. tak tahan dah rasanye rindu kat nenek dan atok I.
All the best friend...I'm so touch reading about your father.... I still remember u said "...Mah peluk ayah dah tak fresh..." My next visit to my father after that, I hug my father, terkejut abah. Tapi sekarang dia memang sentiasa tertunggu-tunggu pelukan anak sulungnye ini.
My mom apa2 yang menyusahkan dia tak cerita bimbang i terganggu sebab sibuk belajar, sampaikanmasa nenek jatuh dan sekarang tak boleh berjalan langsung, dia tak bagi tau I. Kalau I call, tanya nenek dia kata semua sihat. Dia tahu kalau I tahunenek keadaan demikian I mesti terus balik.
These people, they love us. They are proud of us. I hope the scrool and a picture of us wearing the hunters' hat is the best present from us to our beloved HUBBY, MOM,ABAH, MY GRANDMOM and DAD. Nenek I kata nak belajar apa lagi? Tak cukup lagi ke? I kata nenek dulu nak belajar tak dapat, I tolong kadokan. Dia gelak je kat I. Hubby I kata abang sokong....tak dapat Dr dapat naik Dr ok dah, Ha Ha Ha
Got to go...ada 3 lagi assignment yang 45% belum siap nak anta sebelum jam 5 ptg esok.
Good Luck geng, Make sure Mah, Ijoy dan Kak Shimah dapat lengkapkan pengajian. We go for it. So geg LS10 our badge kita pelopor! Ada orang tak faham kenapa perlu buat permanent head damage ni. Atau bagi mereka tak perlu. Well kalau kita kaitkan kepuasan dengan $$$$$ memang tak perlulah. To me this is part of jihat and self fullfilling propercy.
The mental endurance make U a different person! CAYALAH!!!!
Wassalam
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