Coming Back....after.....

Happy mother's day!!! during that time i'm having a fever....as usuall if i'm sick i'm just keep quiet and do my own things..... so that day begins with no meaning eventhough a day before we brought things at groceries and my daughters intend to prepare a meals for mother's day........... after consume a medicine i feel a bit o.k and my daughter asked me to taste the meals they've prepared for me....my condition makes me tasteless...... i'm very thankful for my children who cooked for me during that day and that night they give me a bouquet of flower and musical cards... i don't know when they bought it and its nice the words is touching....... thanks i also loves you very much.... and mother's love is borderless.................................................................................

After recovered i came back to continue my research work..discussing with others and they said that my illness because of my worrieness towards my research..may be yess...after what i've facing during my defence....i felt really down...... but.....ALLAH gives me strenght to be strong through this tough ways...Yes... i admit that phd is Perjalanan Harungi Dugaan as my cliks CTA said about what is phd ? may be because phd student is normally married, have lots of responsibility and towards the ends of education.....any tiny miny itsy bitsy things will put in consideration and can be a big burden and problems to ....may be.....sometimes we struggle with our own mind thingking about our research and i realize that sometimes i felt like i just thingking about my self not other..like my children sometimes i've to let them be by them self, don't have a time to talk about their problems at school and sometimes i forget to ask them about their homework..because my head is spinning thinking about my phd research..... and for this i thanks my husband and children for understand me....i'ts so touching when my 5 yrs old daughter ask me are u going to work today? (for her i'm working not studying) and sometimes i have to take a break and entertain them... and looks at my daughter grinn when i'm not going to faculty makes me feel soo..touching...Sometimes i just wondered my self am i take a right decision? But it's my dreams and and comes only once.....so that's why i'm here.

Pray to ALLAH is the key words of phd successfullness.....hope that ALLAH will make the esiest way for me to achieve my success.........

DEFENCE PROPOSAL PRESENTATION

Last Thursday, on 30th April...the moments that i've been waiting is finally arrived. My Defence Proposal Presentation..... i defence it to my internal examiner Dr. Shahrul Azman...well it's goes well and a few question is asked regarding my research...the critical comment made by my examiner is the techniques that i'm going to used and to specify my reseach because he saw may research is too broad....and my evaluation.....how am i going to test my prototype? This two issue was arised by my examiner....well! the frusteration is from my own supervisor..She said that my proposal is loose and need tu strength it...i'm a bit shock because before i present it i've already show it to her and as usual she's no comment..how come she said it during my defence not before i defence it.....a few days after my defence i felt a bit frusterated with my supervisor...i don't know..what is the duty of a supervisor???? supervise or ...................

Even i still feel down but i will take it as a challenge....i want to meet her and set the things straight.... ALLAH please give me strength and do bless me towards my phd.......and not forget my hubby thanks for the morale supports............................

PHD PROGRESS PRESENTATION

Last Monday 13th April, i've presented my progress to my supervisor group.....as usual i've just present what's i'm doing and it's not surprisingly no comment...may be my supervisor just want to see my progrees after all i'm in her research group grantt...Well Alhamdulillah may be she's satisfy with my progress on schedule...but my problem is my computer is not compatible and i've to do it at home with no internet access.......

The fever,cough and flu is attacking all of my family.....from the first daughert until my last son....so everybody have to be in bed during this few days...and i'm busing taking care of them....my proposal presentation is coming soon..when i've to wait for the date meanwhile i've to stop my research and give my fully attention for my defence proposal day.....

a bit busy with my research and my personal life...

MORE COMPLICATED

As days goes by my research and my knowledge of this research become more specific...and lots of thingking is spinning in me head...can i do this can this be implemented......its look easy but complicated to implement......PLEASE ALLAH give me idea to solve the problem....tomorrow i will attending the tutorial organized by knotis group and discuss a bit about my research... I' ve send 2 email to Peter Brusilovsky and Staffi Graff who's the famous name in adaptive web based educational system. AWBES=my topic.....I've get the quick reply from dr brusilovsky but dr Graff didn't reply my 2nd email (may be she busy..i really hope that she will reply my email) don't know..At this point my truly respect to dr peter brusilovsky because he's willing to help the amatur reseacher like me.....

THANK YOU DR..BRUSILOVSKY....your reply give me strenght to finished my research and be part of your discussion group regarding the matter...

STUDENT IS STILL A STUDENT.......

Yesterday I'm joining the workshop organized by Dr. S and the person who incharge is Mrs. J....well as a student i'll always take the opportunity to enhance my knowledge and joining any courses organized by faculty.....
My supervisor told me and ili that we can join the workshop...because of the late information, we decided to join in the next session started at 10.30 a.m....during the session we can't follow the workshop because we don't have a mannual and i ask the instructor to give us the mannual but he just grin and lend us his mannual... in the end he ask me to ask the back person...i think his meaning mrs J....but during that time we didn't know who the person incharge....while we having our tea break on the evening.....mrs J just tall us that we are not registered and both of us shock and she told us that its over the limit of that package....she ask her who give us the permission to enter the workshop....feeling a little bit ambbarest i told her that my supervisor ask dr S and he the one who give us permission....well.....this is miscommunication.......and the next session i'm not joining the workshop because actually it's not related to my research......and i think it's not nice of me to join in without a permission.... well i think a little bit no manner on telling something to somebody.. I know she's a lecturer so am I...I'm also a lecturer i think if she can talk to us by approach us and tell the truth..its o.k ..I know i come here as a Phd. student..and for them a student is still a student even you're in the same boat(position) here. I hope when i came back tu my U and hold my phd lecturer status i will respect the student especially phd. student. I want to threat them like a friends not like a student.....but well organized off course..... today i'm going to install the vb.net software but the technician in level 3 didn't have it so i've to go to level 1 technician and they ask me to install it tomorrow....and my task is append a day....Please ALLAH give me strenght to finished my prototype on May....i've about 2 months more to finished my prototype...

Alhamdulillah, Thank You ALLAH

As I mention before my 2 sons is not well....my 1st son is feeling a bit o.k after taking some medicine but not my 2nd son who 2 &1/2 years old. He's got a bad direa...every thing we put in his mouth will get out back...he's vomit until he don't have any energy..so on that saturday i went to policlinic in Bangi but no one there....Emergency ?room but no body there...and after that i went tu UKM clinic but they only entertained the accident only...so i decided to take my son to nearest clinic. The doctor told me it's seem serious and put a medicine through my son anus and remind me if he still vomit just go to the hospital. After a few hour i tried to give him some milk (since he didn;t consume any thing within a day before)..but he vomit again..I'm so worried about his condition...ALLAH please help me...don't let something happen to my youngest son...I prayed to ALLAH....then we went to Kajang Hospital...in their emergency room...then i brought my son to see the doctor on call then he said because i've already see the doctor and i'm worried he will put a water into my son body...during that time a nurse try to chuckle my son but because of his condition he just lying there and just let what the nurse did to him...first the nurse put some medicine to his anus then the nurse inject his hand and get 2 inch of his blood (to blood test) and what he did just lying there..the nurse apprise him because he's a good boy...after that they put about 200ml water into that needle and my son is sleeping for 2 hour...In my heart i'm hoping that he's fine and will not be warded...after a few hour the nurse took the result of his blood test and show it to dr. Chan Jan Bon (May be his father is the big fan of James Bond) and he said that everything is ok. ALHAMDULILLAH....thank you ALLAH for answering my pray.......Now he is active again and can consume food back......

Friday the 20th....

Today, its not my day...early morning my two son vomitt ( both're not feeling very well), my nasi lemak is turn to nasi impit....,got head ache,...but I still have to do my work....have to finished my slide presentation for defence proposal which i don't know the date..and of course my research (finding learning style representation).....honesty I don't have a mood today since my two son is not well....but i've to fight get rid of my lazy mood and go on with my work.....Alhamdulillah I manage to finished my proposal power point presentation....even i'm worried about my sons but luckily my husband taking care of them..at least it's release me...a bit...
I have to finished my phd...at the due date....pity for my family..have to sacrafice for me....cannot get much attention from me especially during a day and sometimes at night when l've to catch up with the due date....ALLAH ALMIGHTY PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH AND FULLFILL MY GOAL................................................................................................................................................. Mum I really miss U.....Hope after my nephew wedding I can bring her to BBB and stay with me for a while...I need all the support that I can get.